It's All Connected

It's All Connected

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The first blizzard comes; even a worm will wish for; a scarf made of yarn.

In a desperate act of procrastination I watched Punkin' Chunkin' 2010 today. Because I didn't want to be doing anything, I actually found it fascinating.

Not because these people are trying to build machines that hurl pumpkins record breaking distances. Though, admittedly that does sound like a virtual crap ton of fun!

No, I was fascinated because these are not just jazzed up slingshots, these things are intricate! If I had a memory other than that of a fruit fly I could tell you the exact distance of the winner, but I can't. I can say it was something like 1,900 ft! That's REALLY FAR! I once jumped off a fifty foot cliff into the Snake River (believe it or not we were being chaperoned by an adult) and I thought, if I multiplied that height by 40, that's about how far these folks tossed that pumpkin! Then I double checked my math because once again, that is REALLY FAR!

Then I got to thinking, what do these people do for a living? And thinking that made me wonder if I am doing too little with my life. Today my plan was to do laundry and finish vomiting Christmas on my tiny apartment. I have done neither. I put the laundry in the basket, hauled it and the trillion pound economy sized bottle of detergent down three flights of stairs, and found this taped to our washer;

"Thought you'd want to know that this machine ate 2.00 dollars of my money. I will let the manager know tomorrow (Sunday!). I found this out after I put the soap in. FYI."

I was distracted briefly by my curiosity about the exclamation point after Sunday. Wondering if the writer is really excited about Sundays or just yelling at me. I love Sundays! They Rock! Vive la Sunday! or Hey stupid, tomorrow is Sunday! How can you be so stupid as to not know the days of the week! You are so dumb you should probably not be doing your own laundry! I think my confusion was justified.

Then I began to wonder what to do. I could walk over to the manager's apartment and ask if the machine is fixed and someone didn't take down the note. But that would involve taking the dogs back upstairs and putting them in their kennels, because they absolutely cannot be trusted alone and free in our apartment for even three minutes. I could try the other machines in the other buildings but that would also involve putting the dogs "away". I could try to find some form of clean clothes including bra and go to a laundromat. But on top of kenneling the dogs, I'd have to actually drive somewhere. I could put my clothes in the washer, being forced to use stranger detergent (which means hives until the next laundry day) add my quarters and see if the machine works.

I decide to leave my basket on top of the washer, return to my apartment and call the manager. When he doesn't answer, I leave a pleasant message asking him to get back to me as to the state of our washing machine. Then I get enraged when he doesn't call back and continue to procrastinate by playing a match 3 game on the computer.

I didn't get to the decorating because Jero left the chair, without which I cannot decorate the doorways, on the balcony and it is dark and scary out there.

The point is, I can barely handle a fifty hour work week and a weekend of laundry and Christmas decorations. How do these people find time (read energy) to have such a time consuming hobby? So, I got to thinking about less time consuming hobbies I could try to get into.

Less Time Consuming Hobbies I Could Get Into:

1) Knitting scarves for worms.

2) One word inspirational cross stitching.

3) Paint by number

4) Sculpting globs of clay into different shaped globs of clay.

5) Writing really bad haiku.

6) Baking not-so-homemade treats. Better yet, not-so-homemade no-bake treats.

7) Speed sitting.

8) Procrastinate by writing really long, not so funny blogs until I don't even have enough time to do the seven things listed above.

I might be able to figure out speed sitting.

No comments:

Post a Comment