It's All Connected

It's All Connected

Sunday, March 25, 2012

What a Load of Crap

I don't know when my issues with poo started.  I never had a scary experience as a child or any such thing.  But I do have this strange issue with poo particles.

Let me explain first by saying that poo particles are the tiny pieces of poop either left places by people's hands, feet, butts, or by flushing.  I could continue to go on, but then you all might think I am crazy for how many ways I can come up with poo being spread about.

I have a strict rule that the seat is always down when you flush, that hands are ALWAYS washed.  And I will call you out on that (pardon my pun) shit if we are in a restroom together and you do not wash your hands.  I don't care if you are a stranger or not, that is just wrong.

I already have a huge issue trying to figure out in what order to do things in a public bathroom, because I don't want to exit the stall with my pants undone, but I don't want to touch the button on my pants until I wash my hands either.  Or the waistband.  Have any of you ever thought about how gross those two things must be?

I think I have already posted about this.  Because I remember having to say that I know that poop is everywhere.  I do.  I just like to minimize it's existence in any way I can.

With all of that said, I now have another issue at work.  They have now closed our bathrooms to the public.  I know what you are thinking, "but, Sara, isn't that a good thing?  Doesn't that mean less stranger poop?"  You wouldn't be entirely wrong, even though it is an office building and there are a good number of employees, but the number of poopers hitting those seats every day will be less.  The issue is that now they are locked, now we have a key.

A poop key.

Let me say that again, a POOP KEY.

I am a freak.  I will always make sure that this key does not go into the stall with me.  But I don't think the average Joe or Joann will really think about it.  They will bring it into the stall, use the bathroom, then pick the key back up BEFORE washing their hands.

Oh my God, my heart is beating so fast just thinking about it.  As a matter of fact, I got sick with a stomach thing I have not had an issue with in MONTHS last week, and now I'm starting to wonder if someone's poop is to blame.

Son of a bitch.

I would say that I could just try to not use the bathrooms at work, but I do work two ten hour shifts a week, so that might be a little hard on my bladder.  I am so screwed.

Hug those babies, wash those hands, and for Christ's sake, limit the poo!


  1. Lol... I used to have issues with public bathrooms. The best way to illustrate my craziness is to say that I once flew from Paris to India (15 hours including all the transits) without using the bathroom. I survived - but I don't know why... seems like I should have gotten a kidney infection at the very least.

    1. Seriously, you owe your kidneys a pony! But I am the same way, if I can get away with not using a public bathroom, I will. People are just too dirty! Ha!

  2. I know the post you last mentioned this issue in: it was the one about the Bible verse stuck in the stall. No, I'm not memorizing anyone's blogs, I just remember things that make me howl with laughter!

    I always wash my hands, but have never worried about the button on my jeans. Consider the physics, and for every germy particle of toilet water that splashes out, the button on your jeans would have to be *facing the toilet* to get splashed, so it's probably safe.

    But the "poop key". Great name. Made me laugh.

    1. It's not the splashing on the button, it's the touching of the button before washing my hands. Lol. But now I am totally going to point my front away when I flush.