Who knew it would be so difficult to just start a blog? I've been blogging about this or that for years now, but it seems that this is the site of choice for the bloggers (blogees?) I know.
It took me far too long to even think of a name. I was thinking strongly about calling it "Emotional Vampire". Those are a couple of words from a song I love, but even more important it is very much how I see myself. If you were to ask those who love me, they would disagree, they would say that is not how they see me. But it is how I feel about who I am, who pretty much everyone is at some time in their life. It's not a bad thing, it's a human thing. We all need, and it is mind boggling to me that so many of us try to hide that part of our humanity.
When I am sad, I need someone to understand. When I am angry, I need someone to rage with me. When I am happy, I need someone to laugh with. When I am telling a story, I need to be the center of attention. I am not ashamed of these things...and many more...because I do not feel isolated in feeling that way. I feel connected with the world, bonded by our universal similarities.
Now I am seriously doubting myself for not naming my blog with my gut. Meh, I figure what I name the blog won't keep me from writing what I want to..so what's it really matter?
Yeah, you know me, I'm far too "OCD" to REALLY think that way. It does matter, because I have to have a reason for why I do EVERYTHING.
I decided on "Tangled Skein" because I'm a nerd. And apparently because I had to add my screen name to the beginning of it, I am not the only nerd out there. Who knew?
"With a Tangled Skein" is the name of a book by Piers Anthony. He writes science fiction/fantasy novels that held my fancy during the most growth oriented years of my youth. It is part of a series that changed my life.
Twenty years and two days ago, I lost my dad to a heart attack. I was really lost for a long time, then I found a church that fed my need for family. But I was still lost, the real me was just floating around waiting patiently to be missed and finally found. When I read this series, it reminded me that questioning what you're told is far better than following blindly.
Though "With a Tangled Skein" is not my favorite book from the series, it's a phrase that I have always found intriguing. To me it represents every aspect of life. It is all connected. The simplest things can change everything. If I'd never joined MySpace, I would never have reconnected with my best friend, or my future husband. Sometimes it's big. If I'd never had that miscarriage, there would be no Kelly.
Our own personal skeins are a tangled HOT mess, even when we think we should take the garden shears to it.
So, that's the point of this blog, that EVERYTHING matters, and I will write about everything. More than likely you'll be thinking, "why would she write about something so trivial?" and my answer will always be, because it felt like more than that to me, and there is always a chance it will turn out to be a major thread in my tangled skein.